I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
