margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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