Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
whose parrot is this?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
