how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
