That's intense
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
