PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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