dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
