apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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