the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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