so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
