That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
