It's Friday. Sex?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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