Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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