I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
