No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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