that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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