It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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