I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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