it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
