i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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