Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
