marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.