sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
