Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
how does that bad decision feel?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
