Your face is a jimmy john
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Princesses don't give blow jobs
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many