I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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