Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
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I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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