i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
