i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
