i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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