rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
