what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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