its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
