just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
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Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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