i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
