Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
