I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
