We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I am available for nakedness
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
