My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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