I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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