My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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