At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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