just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
