Apparently you make a good broom.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it