And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
