you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
