Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently you make a good broom.

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(949): View more from California

Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.

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(740): View more from Ohio

needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(727): View more from Florida

he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole

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(586): View more from Michigan

Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.

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(214): View more from Texas

I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it

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