Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.

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  (813): Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard. http://tfl.nu/8xvq
  Replies (22) Good night (4098) Bad night (597)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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  (506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv
  Replies (16) Good night (10458) Bad night (1142)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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  (662): It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though http://tfl.nu/50vd
  Replies (15) Good night (4482) Bad night (1047)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message

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  (505): Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message http://tfl.nu/azaf
  Replies (7) Good night (4959) Bad night (1001)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.

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  (307): I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome. http://tfl.nu/fygk
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (1892)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.

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  (850) Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen. http://tfl.nu/kqm3
  Replies (2) Good night (984) Bad night (443)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.

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  (609): Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/7v0e
  Replies (8) Good night (448) Bad night (1083)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.

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  (316): I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry. http://tfl.nu/w045
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (395)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket

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  (+44): you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket http://tfl.nu/sq21
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (304)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.

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  (201): I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever. http://tfl.nu/v0jl
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We're like a dynamic duo.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.

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  (647): We're like a dynamic duo. (1-647): Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud. http://tfl.nu/eexc
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (267)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"

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  (616): I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower" http://tfl.nu/rsrj
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (210)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.

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  (201): i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that. http://tfl.nu/04j5
  Replies (2) Good night (586) Bad night (219)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.

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  (940): I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/cak3
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (203)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore

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  (386): I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore http://tfl.nu/saed
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (102)

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