those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?