im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store