ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
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Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes