my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
