so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
