all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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