so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
