What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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