I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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