Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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