He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
