i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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