I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Semen is not good for contacts.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
