I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
