Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can tuck mytits in my pants
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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