i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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