I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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