if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
sarcasm needs its own font
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
