I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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