i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
