why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Enjoy the penises
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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