i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
