We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
