My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
