ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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