sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize