Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
