i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
