i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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